Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Daddy's First thoughts on Finding Number 4

This is my first blog post for this, and I just thought I'd give my perspective on these very early steps.

I was really encouraged recently by seeing a video in which Todd Henry talked about adopting a daughter. He talked about not really being the same level of excited as his wife obviously was, but that he was willing to move forward with it, partially because of knowing what the Bible has to say about taking care of the widow and the orphan. I feel pretty much the same way. That is not at all to say I'm NOT excited about adopting, and I feel like some people would view me "just going with what the Bible says" as either cold or robotic.

Let me clarify a bit. First of all, I feel like I could, and will, love any child that God gives to us to care for, whenever He gives him or her to us. I felt that way about our three children that we have already. I was excited to feel kicks, or know that there was a child in my wife's belly, but it wasn't REAL, as it must be real, to my wife who had the child inside her. I think many men feel this way, but are afraid to articulate it because it will be seem heartless or uncaring to their loved one who feels so CLOSE to the child, and who has so much love for the baby NOW.

But the flip side of that is that I know now that I can just "turn the love on." When my daughters showed up, an instant after she was born, I loved that kid more than life itself. That's true for each one of them. And I'm sure it will be that way when Number 4 shows up, too. In the meantime, you might not see me as openly excited as Mariah, and I probably actually _won't_ be. But I still look forward to the day that I can hold Number 4 in my arms, rock her to sleep, kiss his boo-boos, teach her how to cook or throw a football.

Regardless, I do love our next child, sometimes with emotion, sometimes with what I'm doing to try to get us ready. We love you now, Number 4.

1 comment:

  1. For what it is worth, my husband felt the very same way. And articulated it as such. It wasn't real to him, just as the pregnancies weren't, until the child showed up. I think it is hard. Congratulations on starting the process!