Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What do you want to be when you grow up?

It's interesting to me how much our answers to this question change over time.  Several songs lately have forced me to reconsider my own answers. Thanks to a combination of Gungor, specifically Beautiful Things, and Switchfoot, This is Your Life, I'm contemplating and praying and just worshipping. 

This "crazy" move to Columbus and the months of settling in that have been going on have really put a pause on my prayer life.  It makes me sad.  I don't want my life to be so full of other things that prayer gets pushed out of the way.  So today while I was "working" I spent a lot of time praying...and just sitting...still...and quiet. 

It's amazing to me how just when I get to this place where I feel like I'm alone or in a desert all of the sudden things (songs, moments, cuddles, friends blog posts, relationships, stories, quiet) just pop up and pull me back right to where I need to be. 

So...what do I want to be when I grow up?  It's been a big topic around here lately.  Charis is half way through Kindergarten.  She said she doesn't want to be anything.  She wants to stay home and be in our family and never move away from us.  And when we ask Rowan-my wild wanderer what she wants to be she answers "An astronaut AND a Mommy.  But I will tell my husband he can't go to work because I have to fly and he has to watch our baby.  AND I don't want a baby born from my belly.  I want to adopt one who's Mommy and Daddy can't want it anymore." (She's been listening to all of our adoption talk, I do believe.)

My answers for today...I just want to be.  I want to be right where I am. Happy. Joyful.  Living my life and devoted to my calling as a Mommy.  I want to never really grow up and to keep fun and crazy and creative around all of the time.  I want to soak in the moments with these girls as they grow up and not dwell on minutes I might be missing with number 4.  So for today...I just want to be.

Tomorrow is questionable. 

Number 4- I think about you everyday.  I see you in every waiting child list, every adoption book, every person who has a story.  I am your Mommy and I'm coming for you.